


The World Out There

by SereneSorrow



Category: Naruto
Genre: Illnesses, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 22:17:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15616200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SereneSorrow/pseuds/SereneSorrow
Summary: Suffering from an unknown illness all his life Neji never became a ninja, at the end he meets someone special.





	The World Out There

     The view through his window was so narrow. A sliver of the garden and a corner of the sky was all he had ever seen of the world out there. A tiny glimpse of what he could never experience for himself. For the majority of his life he had been ambivalent to his fate, appreciating that he had a window at all. What he did have, a home to shelter him and an uncle who continued to care and provide for him even though he had little time to visit, and only the obligation of blood to hold him to Neji at all.

     Not today though. Today, for the first time he could remember, Neji was angry. He had known his time here was drawing to a close, he could feel his body, weaker now even at what passed for his best than it ever had been before. He had never deluded himself into believing that he could recover or that a cure could be found, for heavens sake no one had ever been able to tell what was wrong with him, of course his illness would take him sooner rather than later.

     He just wanted more, just a bit more before he died. Neji wanted to see something new, to just have one new experience, one _real_ experience before the end. He closed his dull eyes wearily and his thin chest labored on the sigh released slowly from his saturated lungs. Uncle Hiashi would never grant any request such as the one Neji had in mind, but he was busy today, Neji had overheard him speak of his schedule to one of his caretakers outside his door. One of his cousins was to be officially named the new head of the Hyuuga clan as Hiashi retired from the position. Neji couldn't recall now the names of the two girls he had never met, that he indeed had never even laid eyes on. Surely it must be an important event though, even the woman who seemed to most often watch over him was not present at his door. If there was ever a moment it was now, and just in time for him too.

     It was a struggle no more taxing than he expected, causing an interminable number of pauses as Neji was forced to brace himself with shaking limbs against the furniture just to remain standing and to lean heavily against walls as he caught his breath and fought to keep his atrophied muscles from collapsing beneath him. In a rare moment of rage, perhaps even the first time he had experienced the emotion, Neji cursed the weak body he had been born with. He had never known his mother, who had died to give him this cursed life, indeed having never known he existed at all. Just this year uncle Hiashi had explained to Neji that no one, not even she herself, had known she was with child. Until she had begun bleeding and he had been cut from her prematurely as her body cooled, no one had even known he was there.

     He could recall his father only vaguely, and now in some way he could not define Neji resented his uncle for their being twins, as Hiashi's own face overshadowed that of his father in what few memories Neji hoped were true and not mere fever dreams. Neji could not even recall what explanation his uncle had given for his father's death, and he did not know if he more desired to weep for having lost his father's comfort in this moment or hate the man for leaving him so soon. In either case he concluded through deep breaths that it mattered little, he would see his father soon enough.

     Looking back Neji couldn't say how or even if he avoided meeting anyone as he made his way from the house in which his weak body and constant illness had imprisoned him for all these years. All he knew was that it was bright, and hot, and there was a whole world opened up before him.

     It was beautiful.

     The wind blew gently carrying leaves drifting lazily down the path he followed. So much green in every direction, the white linens and walls of his home given way to the glorious multitude of colors Neji had only viewed in a sliver of a single window. The texture of the trees that lent him their strength were of such a rough quality compared to the wooden furniture of his home. He saw more insects in a moments glance than he had seen in the culmination of years within his home.

     There was so much life out here.

     The air was fresh, as compared to the stale pall of his sickroom, and though the humidity weighed in his lungs Neji relished every breath as he made his way deeper into the woods alone.

     _'I would like to die here_.' Neji thought to himself as he proceeded slowly, laboriously, towards trees that grew so tall that their branches spread wide and blocked much of the sunlight even at the height of the day.

     Entranced with the beauty Neji had no idea how far he had come when the creature appeared in a thunder of sound that broke the tranquility in which he was immersed. With a start Neji flinched as the huge brown body sprang from the trees before his eyes had even registered any movement in the dappled light and with a startled cry that cut sharply through his constricting throat Neji fell back. The animal's curving horns caught his attention as it's feet narrowly missed him before it was racing past him.

     “Riku!” A sharp voice called, but was then silent as a man following the animal's path skidded to an abrupt and perplexed halt at the sight of Neji on the ground before him.

     Neji blinked in slow recognition of the presence of another person. Honestly he was at a loss simply at the sight of the man. His short and bound up hair, narrow intelligent eyes, even to a degree his rough and lightly scarred skin was all in shades of brown, nothing like the pale skin and white eyes of every other person Neji had ever seen in his life. In a moment of uncertainty Neji wondered why he had assumed that all people looked so similar to himself as his uncle and caretakers did.

     The spell of still silence was broken when the tightness in Neji's throat gave way to the sharp cough that overcame him and seized his whole body in its grip. Uselessly Neji rolled to his side and curled into himself as it continued relentlessly, giving him barely time for even shallow breaths. Eyes squeezed shut tightly against the beginnings of tears that stirred his eyelashes Neji was barely aware of a warm hand pressed surely to his back, another raised to pry his own hands from where he had covered his mouth.

     His hands came away bloody, a speckling of red across his fingers and one palm, a sight that he was blind to but was shocking to the stranger. Then Neji's attention was drawn to his breathing when the stranger's other hand was placed firmly against his chest in mirror to the one on his back, a light but constant pressure easing the constriction of his chest and slowly the coughing fit subsided though the occasional stream of blood came forth on a particularly bad convulsion.

     With breaths now relegated to a slow and regulated pace Neji's mind drifted in a daze as his body relaxed into the cool grass beneath him. He remained unaware of the stranger's confused and worried assessment for some time, the watchful gaze that remained vigilant for any sign of another coughing fit escaping his notice entirely.

     It was a brush of the thumb of that warm hand on his back that brought Neji back to awareness of the wider world around him, and slowly his eyes drifted up to meet the stranger's concerned look. Neji's weak attempt to rise was abandoned as the stranger slid his warm arms around Neji's lightly shivering torso into the slim space he'd managed to create in his effort to push himself from the ground and Neji's weight fell entirely into the man's sure hold. Even knowing that he weighed hardly what he should thanks to his weak body Neji was surprised how easily the stranger lifted him to his feet and then continued bearing his weight when his legs wouldn't hold him.

     “If you're ill you shouldn't be out here alone Hyuuga.” The stranger said, his words spoken softly just next to Neji's ear.

     Turning his face so as to meet the man's steady gaze with his own fever clouded eyes Neji spoke carefully to avoid aggravating his lungs. “I wanted to see it.” The words came out as a dry rasp despite the wetness in his throat.

     Dark brown eyes stared unblinking into his own for a moment before one eyebrow raised and the stranger inquired further. “What did you want to see all the way out here?”

     Neji blinked tiredly and fought against his impulse to attempt to clear his throat, knowing it would set him coughing again. “Anything.” He said finally with a dull edged tone. “Everything.” He continued more hopefully. “There's so much out here that I have never seen.” Neji's eyes drifted over the man's shoulder as he spoke, catching sight of the animal that had startled him standing between two distant trees and staring back at him with an endlessly knowing depth in its deep black eyes. In confusion Neji averted his own eyes and tipped his head back slowly to take in the small patches of blue sky that could be seen through the shimmering gold edged green canopy above.

     A sudden shift startled him and Neji's trembling hand came up to clutch at the stranger's shoulder as the man adjusted his hold until he had one arm under Neji's knees and the other supporting his back. Neji looked around everywhere but at the stranger as he was carried further through the trees a few meters more to a small clearing edged in shade from low branches and smaller trees. Before he had time to take in the open space he was being placed on a sizeable stone that seemed worn smooth as though it had been formed perfectly as some sort of bench.

     The stranger sat beside him and leaned back on his elbows, somehow leaving enough room that only their sleeves touched, and tipped his head back to stare at the sky. After a beat of silence in which Neji studied the stranger, the way the man seemed utterly relaxed and how his eyelids now drooped with a tiredness that Neji hadn't thought was present until this moment, the stranger spoke.

     “My name's Nara Shikamaru. I assume there's something I can call you besides just 'Hyuuga'?” He said without looking away from the sky, giving all indication that he was enraptured by the few clouds drifting in wisps across the great expanse of ochre tinged azure.

     “Neji.” He answered politely, eyes still drifting over the form of the other man instead of the scenery he had found so enthralling just seconds ago. There were more things he had not seen in the world than simple nature, there were people too. Men and women he had never met, would never have a chance to know. This one seemed so different from Neji's family, and he wondered just how different were the many others out in this world.

     “Why did you come alone?” Nara Shikamaru asked him after the silence stretched longer and longer.

     Neji was just a bit unsure as to what he should say, how much of an explanation he should give, would be able to give. He picked his words carefully before he spoke so that he knew he would be able to say them all and convey only what he meant to. “I would not have been allowed to come at all if I had asked.”

     A shallow nod acknowledged his words but the man did not so much as glance at him, Neji could not tell just what he was thinking.

     “I used to spend hours just watching the clouds. I was a really lazy kid, never wanted to work or clean or study. It was always relaxing, thinking about just drifting along in the breeze.” Nara Shikamaru explained in a steady voice hardly as if he was speaking to anyone at all.

     Neji turned his face up to look at the sunset clouds as well, trying to picture him as a small boy watching a favored patch of sky, perhaps something similar to Neji's endless gazing out of his own window. Neji had never seen other children, not even when he was small, he had only ever been surrounded by the adults who toiled at the task of tending his illness. “I've missed so much.” He said thoughtlessly, breathless and with new tears stinging the corners of his eyes. “What else is there?” He asked mournfully as he leaned back into the odd sensation of a comfortable rock.

     The words faded in and out as Nara Shikamaru's steady voice spoke endlessly about the world, his life, and experiences he himself had never had. It was soothing and Neji found himself drifting, not quite falling asleep but losing his place and time. For a moment he felt as though all he could see was the darkening multicolored sky and he wondered if he was floating among the clouds until warm brown eyes filled his vision instead.

     Concern, that was the emotion it suddenly took him so long to place, those dark eyes were concerned about him. Neji wanted to float in that feeling more than he wanted to float with a cloud. It had felt like floating, before. When strong arms had wrapped him in a warm embrace and carried him here. It was more of a struggle than Neji thought it would be to lift his arms to the other man, grasp his shoulders and pull at him to hint that he wanted the man closer. He had not the strength to actually pull the man to him, he likely had never had such strength, but thankfully the once stranger seemed to understand and arms slipped beneath and around him yet again.

     He was pulled close, lifted up, embraced in warmth and shadow. It was a more wonderful comfort that Neji had experienced in quite some time and he chased it despite his loosening grip and the fading edges of his vision as he grew more tired and Neji pressed his face to the other man's neck. The feeling of their skin brushing together held all his attention until he shifted his nearly darkened sight to take one more look at Nara Shikamaru's face.

     Slumped weakly against the other man's chest and shoulder their faces were so close that they breathed the same breath and Neji pursued the air to the other man's mouth even as he lost sight of the man's eyes. After the brief brush of lips Neji's gaze tipped slowly down and he stared blindly across the clearing with his head on the once stranger's shoulder and the man's arms around his waist and feeling at peace with all that surrounded him until all feeling left him.

     The breeze continued to blow, and the clouds continued to drift, the buck in the woods stepped lazily back into the clearing beside them and it was hours before Hyuuga Neji was missed.

**Author's Note:**

> That very last sentence is inspired by the 'FINAL JOURNAL ENTRY OF GAIUS SEXTUS' from the Epilogue of Princeps' Fury by Jim Butcher, so I was going for poetic and 'bigger things than mankind'. Which is also why I decided to leave it as the kind of rhyme of 'drift' and 'missed' but I want to make sure it's clear that Shikamaru's complete attention is on Neji, he knows what's happening, the 'missed' refers to the Hyuuga clan who are all so preoccupied with Hiashi and Hanabi that it won't be until hours later that anyone realizes that he's not in his room anymore.  
> Neji keeps calling Shikamaru 'Nara Shikamaru' because I think that he maybe wouldn't have been taught about first and last names and what order they go in because it just completely slipped everyone's mind as being unimportant since Neji never meets anyone who's not in his own family anyway.  
> And a more fun note, the deer Shikamaru is chasing is Rikumaru's son Riku... I made that up just for no random reason (I don't know why Shikamaru is chasing Riku, he just is)... also Shikamaru and Neji are adults here, I hadn't really decided on exact age but it would have to be 25 I suppose, if Hanabi just became clan head she'd have to be at least sort of really an adult? So Hanabi is 20, Shikamaru is 25, Neji is 26, and Shikamaru has already taken over as clan leader from his dad, who isn't dead just retired but I honestly don't know anymore what is canon and what's just popular fan ideas, so I don't know how off this is or isn't.


End file.
